Polanski's 'Pirates' (1986) – The Strangest, Most Splendidly Chaotic Voyage Ever Filmed!
Ahoy, ye landlubbers and cinematic adventurers! Cast your minds back to 1986, a decade seemingly obsessed with shiny gadgets and shoulder pads, when the grand, swashbuckling pirate epic had largely sailed into the sunset. The golden age of Errol Flynn was a distant memory, and CGI was but a twinkle in Hollywood's eye. Yet, from the fertile, often unconventional mind of Roman Polanski, a director known for psychological thrillers and dark, intimate dramas, emerged Pirates – a sprawling, ambitious, and utterly singular attempt to resurrect the genre with a decidedly un-Disney, almost anarchic spirit. This wasn't merely a film; it was a grand, expensive folly, a passion project decades in the making that aimed for classic adventure but veered wildly into the darkly comedic and the absurd. It dared to be a pirate movie in an era that had forgotten how, and in doing so, created a cult classic that stands defiantly apart from all others.
The film plunges us into the comically desperate plight of Captain Red (Walter Matthau), a grizzled, peg-legged old scoundrel, and his loyal, but perpetually bewildered, cabin boy Frog (Cris Campion). We meet them adrift at sea on a meager raft, their hunger so profound that Frog eyes his beloved pet rat with unsettling hunger. Their fortunes take a dramatic turn when they stumble upon a magnificent, gold-laden Spanish galleon, the Neptune. What ensues is a riotous, often farcical struggle for control of the ship and, more importantly, a glittering Aztec idol crafted from solid gold, rumored to possess mythical powers. Red, a man of insatiable greed and surprisingly resilient cunning, orchestrates a series of outrageous schemes and double-crosses, determined to claim the treasure for himself, all while navigating treacherous waters, mutinous crews, and the very real threat of Spanish cannons. It's a chaotic ballet of slapstick, grand adventure, and surprisingly dark humor, all played out on the high seas.
Roman Polanski's directorial hand is evident throughout, even in this unexpected genre foray. Despite its broad comedic strokes and the sheer scale of the production, there’s a certain Polanskian grit and cynicism underpinning the spectacle. The film boasts truly incredible production design, most notably the construction of a full-scale, fully functional galleon, the Neptune, a staggering achievement in practical filmmaking that lends an undeniable authenticity to the proceedings. The period costumes are lavish, the sets are immense, and the naval battles, while occasionally leaning into comedic exaggeration, are wonderfully choreographed. Polanski masterfully balances the epic scope with intimate moments of grotesque detail and character-driven absurdity, making for a unique aesthetic. It’s a beautifully realized world that feels both fantastical and surprisingly tangible, a testament to the immense effort (and budget) poured into its creation.
Pirates was a colossal box office flop upon its release, a victim of its massive budget, protracted production, and perhaps a public not quite ready for Polanski's offbeat take on the swashbuckling genre. Yet, over the years, it has earned its rightful place as a beloved cult classic. Walter Matthau delivers a truly unforgettable performance as Captain Red, embodying the character with a gruff charm, impeccable comedic timing, and a twinkle in his eye that perfectly suits the film's eccentric tone. Cris Campion provides a wide-eyed innocence as Frog, the audience's bewildered entry point into Red's chaotic world. The film also features Damien Thomas as the villainous Don Alfonso and Charlotte Lewis as the beautiful María-Dolores. Pirates is a film that demands re-evaluation, a gloriously anarchic, visually splendid, and surprisingly funny testament to the boundless imagination of a master filmmaker daring to play outside his usual sandbox.
Director: Roman Polanski.
Cast: Walter Matthau as Captain Red, Cris Campion as Jean-Baptiste "Frog" Raymond, Damien Thomas as Don Alfonso de la Granada, and Charlotte Lewis as María-Dolores de la Jenya de la Calde.
Special Info/Trivia: The film was a passion project for Polanski for over a decade and notoriously went significantly over budget. A full-scale, working replica of a 17th-century Spanish galleon (the Neptune) was built for the film, a truly enormous undertaking. It was a major box office flop, losing millions for its investors. There were famous reports of conflicts between Polanski and Walter Matthau during production. The film premiered at the 1986 Cannes Film Festival.
Watch "Pirates" (1986)
